The Simpsons Forever
The Simpsons Forever
Episode 17 Season 2 7F01 November 1, 1990
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Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
  • Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
  • Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
  • Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
  • Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
episode guide      quotes      production cels
Notable Quotes in This Episode
Lisa Simpson
My brother's using worms but I feel the tranquility far outweighs the actual catching of fish. I'm using nothing.
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Bart Simpson
I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?
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Homer Simpson
Oh, man. Plain cake donuts. Thanks for taking all the fancies guys!
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Mr. Burns
Hi-ho faceless employees. In a few moments the government inspection team will be touring our plant. So look busy and keep your mouths shut! That is all.
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Mr. Burns
Hold me, Smithers.
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Mr. Burns
I suppose that's normal background radiation. The kind you'd find at any well maintained nuclear facility... or for that matter, playgrounds, hospitals.
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Mr. Burns
Oh look. Some careless person has left thousands and thousands of dollar just lying here on my coffee table. Smithers, why don't we leave the room and hopefully when we return the pile of money will be gone... Look Smithers, the money and a very stupid man are still here. Is there some sort of confusion about this? Take it. Take it you poor schmo.
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Lisa Simpson
Oooh, a political discussion at our table. I feel like a Kennedy.
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Mr. Burns
Awww, visual aids help so much. Thank you.
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Barney Gumble
Oh no, an election. That's one of those deals where they close the bars, isn't it?
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Homer Simpson
Oh Marge, what's the big deal? I bet before the papers blew this out of proportion, you didn't even know how many eyes a fish had.
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Mr. Burns
Oh don't worry, by the time this paid political announcement is done every Johnny Lunchpail in this whole stupid state will be eating out of my hand. Oh! Hello friends! I'm Montgomery Burns, your next governor and I'm hear to talk to you about my little friend here, Blinky. Many of you consider him to be a hideous genetic mutation. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. But don't take my word for it. Let's ask an actor portraying Charles Darwin what he thinks... ...So you're saying this fish might have an advantage over other fish. It may in fact be a kind of super fish. ...You see friends if our anti-nuclear naysayers and choose-up-siders were to come upon an elephant frolicking in the waters next to our nuclear power plant, they'd probably blame his ridiculous nose on the nuclear boogeyman. The truth is this fish is a miracle of nature with a taste that can't be beat. Mmmm, mmmm. So to summarize, say what you want about me. I can take the slings and arrows but stop slandering poor defenseless Blinky. Goodnight and God bless.
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Grampa Simpson
That Burns is just what this state needs. Young blood!
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Mary Bailey
My worthy opponent seems to think that the voters of this state are gullible fools. I, however, prefer to rely on their intelligence and good judgment.
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Mr. Burns
Oh I get your angle. Every Joe Meatball and Sally Housegoat in this God forsaken state would see me hunkering down for chow with Eddie Punchclock. The media will have a field day.
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Lisa Simpson
"Mr. Burns your campaign seems to have the momentum of a run away freight train. Why are you so popular?"... Well as long as I'm asking something, can I ask him to assuage my fears that he's contaminating the planet in a matter that may one day render it uninhabitable.
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Bart Simpson
Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves so thanks for nothing.
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Mr. Burns
There's no single answer. Some voters respond to my integrity. Others are more impressed with my incorruptibility. Still others buy my determination to lower taxes and the bureaucrats in the state capital can put that in their pipes and smoke it!
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Marge Simpson
Lisa, you're learning many lessons tonight and one of them is to always give your mother the benefit of the doubt.
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Lisa Simpson
I hardly see what destroying out meager possessions is going to accomplish.
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Mr. Burns
Ironic isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
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Waylon Smithers
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
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Mr. Burns
Simpson, I shall make it the focus of my remaining years that your dreams will go unfulfilled.
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Marge Simpson
Homer, when a man's biggest dreams include seconds on dessert, occasional snuggling and sleeping till noon on weekends, no one man can destroy them.
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